Well, I’ve been here for nearly two and a half months, and I come home in about 2 months. I think Madagascar has gotten as used to me as I have to it. In retrospect, I really didn’t like my first few weeks (maybe even close to a month) here that much. I always felt lost, didn’t know how to react to people shrieking ‘vazaha’ every other minute, didn’t have a social circle, and had a hard time not focusing on negatives like the pollution spewing from vans on my walk home and missing Patrick. I realized this morning that people don’t bother me so much anymore. There’s still the occasional vazaha, but not so often as it used to be. In the Old City when I come home, there are often kinds crowded around tourists to get them to buy greeting cards and take pictures, but they let me pass right though with nothing more than a ’salama’. Last week, a guy was walking next to me on my way home, which always makes me immdiately suspicious, weary that I’ll have to ignore yet another flirting attempt. Instead, he said, “Excuse me, do you speak English?”. I cautiously said yes, and he walked me all the way up to the Old City so that he could practice some English. It was probably the first time talking to someone in the street has lead to a positive experience.
Especially after being out in rural areas, and around people who don’t really speak French, my comfort threshold is definitely higher. I’ve also thought a lot about how wasteful and materialistic we are back home. Now, I’ve gone on about that many times before, but it has a bit more perspective now. Every day I have one bucket of hot water with which to bathe. And it’s plenty. I don’t even always use it all, even when I wash my hair. After this bucket bath, I feel refreshed, clean, and warm. It doesn’t take 20 minutes standing under running water to get the same feeling!
I don’t have a refridgerator, and therefore spend a lot of evenings having egg and ‘vache qui rit’ cheese sandwiches for dinner. Being the lover of food that I am, I do miss all of the food options back home and how easy they are. However, on the weekends when I got out for pizza and beer, I appreciate it SO much! It’s a special treat that I recognize not everyone around can take advantage of.
As much of a coffee snob as I am, I make coffee most mornings by putting coffee grounds and boiling water in my teapot, and then filtering it through a cloth filter with a handle (looks a little like a tiny butterfly net). (Granted, I asked Gabe if he would get me a French press in Tana this week if he happens to see one, as I’ve unsuccessfully scoured the shops of Fianar for one), and it works fine!
I don’t have a single pair of fancy stilettos, nice dresses, or a TV, and it’s all fine. The sad part of this is that when I get back home, I’d imagine I’ll fall back into my wasteful shower habits, taking food, refridgerators, and running water for granted. I will continue to accumulate things, and probably buy yet another pair of $50 jeans. It seems to me that unless we’re willing to go all ‘Walden’, this kind of hypocrisy is nearly unavoidable. I do hope that my time here will in the future at least remind me how lucky we are concerning resources available to us.
Another reflection that I almost continually go back and forth on is living life abroad. It’s different, it’s exciting, it’s a challenge, and sometimes I think I’d like to join the foreign service and get posted all around the world every 2 years or so. However, at the same time, it’s friggin tiring! After every field visit, I feel mentally exhausted just from having paid such close attention to things I don’t always understand all day. Everyday things become difficult, and then there’s the feeling of missing things about home so often. (Although, mosts posts through the govt allow people to live pretty comparably to how they would in the states, and don’t always come with the level of immersion I’m growing accustomed to) So, I’ll go ahead and admit it. Strong, Independant, can handle any stressful situation Callista misses Patrick, her family, routines like going to the gym, and grocery stores.
Overall, I’m having a great experience, and even the frustrations all seem to have lessons. I’m gaining valuable experience working in a foreign and developing environment, as well as learning a bit about USAID. I’m spending almost no money compared to what I’d be spending in France ($2 for lunch instead of like 10). I’ve made many friends and acquaintances, and can’t go much of anywhere in town without running into someone I know. (There’re also a lot of people who know my name that I have no idea who they are! Which is weird…and embarrassing when I can’t place where I know someone from) I’ve developed more of an appreciation for many things back home, especially when I talk to people in my own age group. Xavier, an older man who sells snacks along the Old City street, has gotten to know me fairly well. He always says hello when I walk down on my way to work, and goodbye and have good dreams as I climb back up in the evening. (When he asks what’s new, I also tell him of travel plans etc, and he always asks when I’ll be back. If anything ever happens to me, at least someone will notice I’m gone!) He saw a book in my hand when I was on my way up the other day, and asked if I had any novels in French. I did happen to bring the 3 Musketeers with me (in French), so he was absolutely thrilled when I let him borrow it (he really likes reading it turns out.). I think of my book collection back home, containing books I haven’t even read yet, and wish I would have brought the whole damned thing here to share with him.
This has gotten pretty rambly, so I think I’ll wrap it up. I have to say, there’s a lot I’m looking forward to coming home to. That said, I’m going to try to make the most of the my remaining time here. I have the trip to Ifaty with Sophie, a few more field visits next week, a possible trip to Tana for the election, and camping in Andringitra for Thanksgiving. That should be plenty to keep me occupied and always also looking forward to something. That is all for now.
Wait, I lied. I will shamelessly admit that I’m missing being in the US leading up to the election. Now, I realize that I’m always totally sick of it by the time it actually happens, but I miss the excitement, the frustrations, the bullshit, and the comedy. I’ve been able to see one of the Tina Fey/Sarah Palin skits, and it made my heart pine for the hilarity of SNL, the Daily Show, and the Colbert Report as they mock these silly politicians who take themselves and the whole process far too seriously. I also miss bitching about all of it. Perhaps my favorite part of politics is the bitching – and the solidarity felt with others who are bitching about the same thing. Luckily, Gabe and Karen also enjoy this, so that’s a consolation. I think definitively that I will be Sarah Palin for Halloween. I just need some bangs (long ones so they’ll blend it), a brightly colored sportcoat, a lot of hairspray, and some lipstick. Unfortunately, as Gabe has pointed out, my speaking accent is already on the way to sounding like her, so if I just exaggerate the Northern MidWestness of it, I should be good to go. Karen and the girls have some sort of toy gun I can use as a prop, and I’ve been toying with the idea of either a spiked dog collar (if I can even find anything like that) and a pig nose. We’ll see how it goes.
